Movie 43

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Most people I know who laugh about poo are three feet tall and call me ‘Teacher’. They generally come of age and graduate to sex jokes, but even then, maturity sets in and they come off this steady diet of male and female bits. Of course, some never make this transition and end up producing things like ‘Movie 43’, a film so awful it doesn’t even have a proper title.

There are apparently two versions floating around – an American release and an international one. Let’s hope there is not an extra directors’ cut as well. They contain the same vignettes but differ in set-up. The US film is told by a writer (Dennis Quaid) who tries to pitch a movie to a reluctant producer (Greg Kinnear). The other uses an equally lazy and inconsequential device of teenage boys searching for porn sites.

The bulk of the movie though contains sketches starring famous folks doing and saying wildly disgusting things. It’s not a matter of picking your favorite spot but choosing the least offensive one. Is it worse to emotionally and physically abuse your home schooled child (Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts) or watch teenage boys and grown men freak out about a girl getting her period (Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Chloe Moretz)? Would you rather not see a woman shoot hot sauce into her vagina (Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant) or not hear the check out boy talk about giving his girlfriend a hickey in the same spot (Kieran Culkin and Emma Stone)? Is it less appropriate to laugh at neck testicles (Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet) or jokes about a black man’s member (Terrence Howard)? Is it more revolting to see piss (Elizabeth Banks and Josh Duhamel) or poo (Anna Faris and Christ Pratt)?

The greatest intellectual exercise may be how so many reputable actors agreed to this. Although the Snookis and Johnny Knoxvilles of entertainment appear, there are also legitimate Oscar, Emmy, Tony, and Bafta Award winners. Were they threatened with violence or death, blackmailed, drunk and drugged? We may never know; if they had any remaining sense, they would forever avoid any mention of this movie.

 

Released: 2013
Prod: Charles B. Wessler, Peter Farrelly, Ryan Kavanaugh, John Penotti
Dir: Peter Farrelly, Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Brett Ratner, and a few nameless others
Writer: (too many to list)
Cast: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Seth MacFarlane, Fisher Stevens, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, Jeremy Allen White, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Kieran Culkin, Emma Stone, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Bobby Cannavale, Kristen Bell, John Hodgeman, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi, Jack McBrayer, Jimmy Bennett, Chloe Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Stephen Merchant, Snooki, Terrance Howard, Larry Sanders, Elizabeth Banks, Josh Duhamel
Time: 94 min
Lang: English
Country: United States
Reviewed: 2013

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