Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (2014)

Grumpy Cat was right when it growled that “this movie is awful.” The Lifetime production tries to get ahead of the game with a lot of fourth-wall-breaking and puts it out there that this is a shameless cash grab. Apparently memes weren’t enough for the unhappy kitty and it, or its owners, thought it best to leverage internet fame for a bigger payday. There’s a reason why viral clips don’t last more than a few minutes though, and now here we are with a film no one wanted.

I suppose children may get a kick out of this, but I’d be wary of letting any kid I care about watch it. For all the goofiness, Grumpy Cat is just really cynical, and it’s a tiring act from the start. Aubrey Plaza, despite her comedic talents, brings the whole mood down. I know sarcastic deadpan is her thing and she’s probably a natural choice to voice a cat that hates everything, but it’s too much for a 90 minute movie and especially at Christmastime.

Thankfully one’s exasperation wears off as the adventure progresses. The entire movie is not about Grumpy Cat or talking animals. Chrystal (Megan Charpentier), a sweet teenager, is the real star and a far more joyful presence. She’s friendly with everyone at the mall where her mom works but is having a harder time breaking through to the mean girls in her class. After making a wish on an internet-purchased Christmas coin, she finds she can hear and talk to Grumpy Cat, and thus the excitement begins. Chrystal stumbles on a kidnapping one night, or a dognapping rather, at Mr. Crabtree’s (David Lewis) pet store. Two boneheaded musicians figure they can ransom Mr. Crabtree’s slobbery Leonberger, valued at one million dollars, and finally have money to go on tour. The young girl gives chase, taking Grumpy Cat along with her because why not?

There goofy plot has hints of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, a film I actually enjoyed, thank you very much. Grumpy Cat, however, has almost none of the heart. Plus, the production values aren’t great, something the testy feline can tell you him/herself. The movie has a plain and boxy look that’s low on visual interest. For my part, I wish the script would have strengthened the relationship between Chrystal and Grumps and show that dogs aren’t man’s only BFFs. The more I think about how improvements though, the more I’m reminded that we’re really just talking about a meme. I’m not in the business of encouraging full-length features based on snarky GIFS, so I’ll end by suggesting you watch something else.

Released: 2014
Dir: Tim Hill
Writer: Tim Hill, Jeff Morris
Cast: Aubrey Plaza, Megan Charpentier, David Lewis, Russell Peters, Evan Todd, Isaac Haig, Casey Manderson, Jay Brazeau
Time: 87 min
Lang: English
Country: United States
Network: Lifetime
Reviewed: 2019