Lan Kwai Fong (喜愛夜蒲)

For the uninitiated, Lan Kwai Fong is a small but pricey patch of real estate in Hong Kong’s financial district. During the day, it’s a lazy, barren grid of sloping streets, a stray pedestrian here and there. But by night, it’s a coed’s steamy playground and a tourist’s boozy retreat. Bass, bodies, and bad memories of college come tumbling out of the bars that line the streets. It’s an ideal setting for wet t-shirt and burger eating contests and, according to writers Mark Wu and Lam Fung, a racy movie about the local club scene.

An exciting night out doesn’t always make for an interesting film though, and sometimes it’s better to just go for the real thing, if you are into the hedonistic lifestyle that is so gleefully portrayed. The upscale revelers are there “to see and be seen,” not unlike the target audience for this movie. Lan Kwai Fong is sure to appeal to those who already wallpaper their social media with selfies and snaps of beautiful friends downing champagne and shots and wouldn’t mind seeing their lives mirrored on the big screen.

The film boasts an abundance of good-looking people, but none of these singers and models light up the screen on account of their acting abilities. The closest we get to an actor is Shiga Lin, who plays Jennifer and simply has the biggest part. She and her flight attendant colleagues (Stephanie Cheng and Jeana Ho) hit up the town and find themselves in a club run by guyliner-lover Jacky (Jason Chan). His friend Steven (Z.O.) immediately cozies up to her while another friend Sean (Gregory Wong) eyes Cat (Dada Chan), who is regularly on the prowl for sexual partners.

The filmmakers make some effort to give depth to these characters and their relationships. Jennifer and Steven hope that something more lasting than a one night stand is possible in this vacuous club culture. Jacky develops feelings for Jeana (Ho) but has to resolve some control issues with his ex (Bonnie Sin). Cat maybe wants more out of life while Sean, well, he still wants to get laid. There are numerous minor characters besides whose purpose is to insist that varied and complex people populate the scene.

It’s a lot for skilled writers and directors to manage, but in the hands of Lan Kwai Fong’s creative team, nothing trumps a blacklight glow and the heart-thumping pulsations. Rather than scraping away at the characters’ superficiality, they use their relationships to serve the scenery more than the plot, which is as meandering and purposeless as the people in it. The first 25 minutes are used merely to establish the ideal club atmosphere. Characters catwalk through crowds, awkward introductions are bolstered by alcohol, and a police raid interrupts bathroom sex, but nothing of consequence happens. Instead, the film minimizes narrative in order to flaunt its (perceived) best features. There’s a lot more skin and sex than your average Hong Kong picture, though nothing that will startle Western moviegoers, and that’s clearly enough to generate box office buzz and prompt two sequels.

“I’m Still Loving You” by Shiga Lin:

“Wonderland” by 24Herbs ft. Janice Vidal [Note: This might be the worst Cantonese/English song ever. At the very least, it is the most embarrassing. Actual line –‘Imma make you my lady, and maybe we can make some babies.’ You’ve been warned.]:

Released: 2011
Prod: Ng Kin-Hung 伍健雄
Dir: Wilson Chin 錢國偉
Writer: Mark Wu 胡耀輝; Lam Fung 林逢
Cast: Shiga Lin 連詩雅; Z.O. Shen Zhiming 沈志明; Jeana Ho 何佩瑜; Jason Chan 陳柏宇; Dada Chan 陳靜; Gregory Wong 王宗堯; Stephanie Cheng 鄭融; Jun Kung 恭碩良; Miki Yeung 楊愛瑾; Bonnie Sin 冼色麗; Cheng Ka-Wai 鄭家維; Emme Wong 黃伊汶; Tan Lap-Man 單立文; Chrissie Chau 周秀娜; Jacqueline Chong 莊思敏; Bob Lam 林盛斌
Time: 97 min
Lang: Cantonese, some Mandarin and English
Country: Hong Kong
Reviewed: 2014

McDull, the Alumni (春田花花同學會)

“Magnificently unprepared for the long littleness of life,” reads a line from Alan Bennett’s award winning play The History Boys. The sentiment applies to a good many people and situations, though usually not to a Chinese New Year film and not to one starring a cartoon pig. The festive comedies are better known for riotous gags and irreverent humor than for evoking existential angst. But like previous movies in the McDull franchise, this one couches sober self-reflection in the whimsy of Alice Mak’s animation.

The little porker’s third big screen outing still bears some trademarks of a New Year’s film. There are cameos aplenty and it is rich in local flavor. A drinking game with mentions of BBQ pork rice would end badly. It’s also fun and funny, something you can watch with the kids. Chances are, you’ll be more offended by the toilet humor than they are. And that’s pretty much the dividing line for the film’s audience. I don’t mean that the movie separates those who have a preoccupation with the call of nature with those who do not, but I suspect that children are watching an entirely different film than adults.

McDull, the Alumni has no discernable plot. The nearest thing to one is a hostage crisis on Chinese New Year’s Eve and the upcoming almost-50th anniversary of the Springfield Blossom Kindergarten. Since the movie is told in vignettes, the story allows for gags aplenty, many of which involve food. Diners at the famous Jumbo floating restaurant in Aberdeen stuff themselves silly and make unintelligible sounds while trying to order more grub, and a hungry office worker (Jaycee Chan) uses the heat generated by his computer to poach an egg.

Beneath the silliness, however, lies a bittersweet message about success, particularly a Hong Kong brand of it that includes a flashy title and a feeling of self-importance. Springfield’s hot pot reunion dinner gives the principal (Anthony Wong) and teacher Miss Chan (The Pancakes) cause to teach the students about becoming pillars of society. At the same time, one of the school’s graduates, May (Zhou Bichang, aka Bibi Chow), reflects on her life choices when she is taken hostage.

The children, rather farm animals’, hopes and candid observations are amusing, but their innocence also disguises piercing truths. A recent graduate (Isabella Leong) rushes to a BBQ shop hoping to be be hired as a rice scooper. What the boss (Christopher Doyle) really needs is a chicken chopper, and her miscalculation of the job market nearly costs her the job. Poor McDull, never the brightest pig on the block, meanwhile decides he wants to be an OL (office lady) when he grows up because he doesn’t have to wear pants. He finds himself in a bind when he decides he also wants to eat shark fin soup. He briefly considers a future as a doctor or lawyer since they can always afford the delicacy.

McDull, the Alumni is not as strong as the first two films, but it leaves you with the same mix of melancholy and tempered optimism. Mixing the animation with live action turns out to be hit and miss. The cavalcade of stars does distract and comes off as gimmicky, but Zhou, winner of the Mainland’s Super Girl singing contest and the least glamorous and famous of the actors, captures the film’s tone the best. She isn’t very expressive but has a shy, bewildered look that is right for the part, conveying the overwhelming feeling of a woman who has left the pastels and security of youth for good.

“Fing Fing吓” by The Pancakes (“We have to work OT because we didn’t really work before 6 o’clock…..”):

Released: 2006
Prod: Peter Chan 陳可辛; Jojo Hui 許月珍; Brian Tse 謝立文
Dir: Samson Chiu 趙良駿
Writer: Brian Tse 謝立文
Cast: Ronald Cheng 鄭中基; Anthony Wong 黃秋生; Gigi Leung 梁詠琪; Sandra Ng 吳君如; Eric Tsang 曾志偉; Bibi Chow 周筆暢; Chen Bolin 陳柏霖; Josie Ho 何超儀; Kelly Chen 陳慧琳; Jaycee Chan 房祖名; Shawn Yue 余文樂; Miki Yeung 楊愛瑾; Jan Lamb 林海峰; Francis Ng 吳鎮宇; Cheung Tat-Ming 張達明; Nicholas Tse 謝霆鋒; Michael Miu 苗僑偉; Tats Lau 劉以達; Alex Fong Lik-Sun 方力申; Andrew Lin 連凱; Daniel Wu 吳彥祖; Terence Yin 尹子維; Conroy Chan 陳子聰; Isabella Leong 梁洛施; Jim Chim 詹瑞文; Teresa Fu 傅穎; Hui Siu-Hung 許紹雄; Wayne Lai 黎耀祥; Eddie Cheung 張兆輝; Yip Wing-Sze 葉詠詩; Hong Kong Sinfonietta; Wong Yau-Nam 黃又南; Christopher Doyle 杜可風; Chet Lam 林一峰; John Shum 岑建勳; Kary Ng 吳雨霏; Jane Zhang 張靚穎
Time: 91 min
Lang: Cantonese, some English
Country: Hong Kong
Reviewed: 2014

Love is Not All Around (十分愛)

In one of the more outlandish scenes in this movie, the main character Bo (Stephy Tang) accidentally squirts detergent into her eyes, necessitating a trip to the emergency room. As she is screaming bloody murder, her friend tells her to quiet down, to which Bo responds, “If I’m not louder, no one will hear me,” pretty much summing up the portrayal of women in Hong Kong film and in Patrick Kong films in particular. Bo, like many of her counterparts, is adept at pouting, whining, and wailing, anything to keep the attention on herself. Only after she’s thrown a tantrum and succeeded in emotionally isolating herself does she have stirrings of remorse.

It’s a wonder then how anyone can tolerate her and not at all surprising when one relationship after another falls away. She has a cynical outlook on love to start with, viewing it as nothing more than a game. On the rare occasion she does develop a mild attachment, she can just as easily swap one guy for another when things turn sour. More troublesome is her relationship with her best friend, Ching Ching (Linda Chung), whose marriage to Wing (Sammy Leung) opens the movie. When Bo finds out that Wing is having an affair with a mutual friend, she keeps the sweet and innocent Ching Ching in the dark. She chooses instead to chastise and nag Wing when they are alone, which is probably not what you want your best friend and cheating husband to do.

By movie’s end, Bo has a lot to atone for, but she’s burned so many bridges that a genuine sorry may not be enough. She revisits Ryan (Alex Fong), one of her 50+ exes, and finds herself developing feelings for him. You know this may be something real because she actually feels bad for using him. At the same time, she is keen on Hong Kong’s youngest doctor, Joe (Hins Cheung), from the earlier detergent episode. Does she make the right choice in the end?

It’s a little more complicated than that, and not because love is that way. Director-writer Kong seems to think about romance in the same way one thinks about a churlish ex. In this and many other films, everyone gets played; it’s just a matter of degree. But it’s hard to trust such characters, however likeable or unlikeable they may be, when their primary function is to prove a point. Set aside for a moment that the acting is sub-par. No amount of drama training can save a film that is so dependent on gimmicks. Kong isn’t interested in reality-based nuance. His characters rarely have a sense of the accidental or the foolish that gnaw at real relationships until they snap or fray. Instead, he is more invested in looking clever by intersecting so many stories so that he can spring a surprise and tightly wound ending, one that comes with a giant billboard proclaiming some truth about love. And in this case, he simply wants to say that “love is not all around.” Shame.

“Powerless” (無能為力) – by Hins Cheung.

“Two Worlds” (兩個世界) – by Terry Wu.

Released: 2007
Prod: Paco Wong 黃柏高
Dir: Patrick Kong 葉念琛
Writer: Patrick Kong 葉念琛
Cast: Stephy Tang 鄧麗欣; Alex Fong 方力申; Linda Chung 鍾嘉欣; Hins Cheung 張敬軒; Terry Wu 胡清藍; Miki Yeung 楊愛瑾; Sammy Leung 森美; Christy Wong 王一冰; Kwan Ho-Yeung 關浩揚; Leung Ho-Gai 梁浩楷; Cindy Lee 李思雅; Angela Au 區文詩; Kary Ng 吳雨霏; Philip Ng 伍允龍; William Chow 周子濠; Harriet Yeung 楊詩敏; Terence Tsui 徐志雄; Mimi Chu 朱咪咪
Time: 101 min
Lang: Cantonese
Country: Hong Kong
Reviewed: 2014